During the Scene
A lot of guys end up nervous at this point, but that’s really unnecessary. You’re already in the room with her, you’re both about to get down to business, and with any luck, the two of you have already discussed exactly what you want to do…so honestly, this is the easy part.
It’s still okay to be nervous.
Before you two really get into it, though, don’t be a complete lunatic about it. Don’t be the guy that starts doing push-ups to pump himself up, because seriously – it’s just going to weird her out. The best thing you can do is chat about how excited you are, and laugh off any lingering inhibitions that you might have.
Kinky dating sites that are good will have made it easy for you to discuss with your hookup about what you want to do regarding the initial start of the scene, so don’t forget that sort of thing now!
Your experience level counts.
If you’re nervous because you’ve never done anything this kinky before, remember: your lady is probably getting off on this. A lot of women really get off on teaching a man new bedroom skills, so if you’re nervous, play it up and tell her.
Any concerns that you have really do need to be voiced, though, so don’t joke around with that. It’s better just to let her know, and in turn, she’ll be happy to share her own worries with you, too.
Getting into character is key.
If you two have a scene planned, then live it up. It might feel awkward to get into the scene that you want to play at first, but that will fade away the moment you two are turned on and into it.
With every kinky dating site that is legit, you’ll find tips on this sort of thing, but we can tell you that it honestly just comes with practice, and being comfortable in the different scenarios that you’re acting out.
Role play needs to be thought out.
For example, if the two of you are roleplaying a Dom/sub scenario, you might have assigned yourselves certain roles. Maybe you’re playing the role of the prison guard, and she’s the inmate.
This can obviously involve quite a bit of consent play, so make sure you’ve ironed out that sort of thing before you get into it. Make sure you have a safe word set up, and have all of your toys and implements planned out.
Your tools are important.
Role play scenes in general can involve a lot of costumes, toys, and different kinky techniques like spanking, whipping, or all kinds of bondage. It honestly all depends on what the two of you are into when it comes to starting up these kinds of scenes, so just roll with whatever seems to work best in the moment.
Above all, if at any point you feel uncomfortable, remember that you’ve got that safe word at the ready.
It’s important to be vocal.
ven if it’s in the middle of the scene, you need to express how you’re feeling or if something is making you uncomfortable.
Just because you’re new to kink doesn’t mean you need to keep your mouth shut or feel embarrassed about not liking something. If anything, it means you should be even more vocal regarding your preferences. The kinky dating sites ratings that tend to be highest with us include sites that have all levels of experience, so don’t let that be the reason you keep your mouth shut.
Most partners will want to hear a response from you.
Quite frankly, if you have a partner that doesn’t want you to comment on anything that you’re doing to them, you might want to find a new partner – and quickly.
It’s the same sort of reasoning about walking into a scenario without a safe word in place. While it might seem fun and thrilling, not being able to talk about what you like or don’t like can seriously inhibit your sexual relationship, and also make for a very dangerous environment that neither of you will want to be involved in.
If you’re unsure, don’t do it.
We’ve talked about hard and soft limits before, but if you’re leaning towards something being a hard limit for you, then it’s probably best that you don’t do it. If you still want to do it, then at least don’t do it on the first hookup when you’re still feeling unsure.
Your hookup is supposed to be exciting, fun, and kinky. You don’t want to end up with an evening that was more stressful and nerve-racking than anything else, and that’s why it’s important to communicate throughout the duration of whatever scene the two of you are acting out.