Setting up a Date
The fun begins. You’ve finally got a woman that you feel totally comfortable with, that you’ve discussed your kinks as well as hers with, and you’re ready to start thinking about setting up a date together.
It’s easier than you think.
These women want to go out with you. They want to hook up with you and they want to have as much fun, kinky sex as you do.
It’s easier than you would think on legit kinky dating sites to find women in your area that are really up for a night of fun, so don’t be shy about bringing up the idea once the two of you have gotten to know one another.
The moment that you login to a real kinky dating site, you’ve got an end game in mind. The moment a woman signs in, she knows it, too. You both want to get laid. That’s why there’s no need to be embarrassed about any of it; just jump right in.
Always make sure you discuss your scenes in detail.
Before the two of you meet, you need to really discuss what sorts of scenes that you’re interested in acting out. We usually try to go out of our way to talk about the sorts of things we have done at our dates in our kinky dating site reviews, and honestly, this will set the tone for the whole website in our minds.
We’ve been to a ton of different websites, and the ones that really stand out in our minds are the sites with ladies that either want their boundaries pushed a little, or want to push ours. This can be exciting, fun, and really open your eyes to kinks that you never would have considered.
That being said, don’t have your boundaries ignored.
It’s imperative that the two of you set up hard and soft limits before you hookup. Otherwise, the issue of consent in many different kinds of kinky play will come into play, and you might find yourself in a very dangerous situation.
Safe words are also imperative for the two of you. It doesn’t matter if you’re just going to mess around with a little bit of light bondage, or if she’s going to be in a suspended leather swing for the whole night. You need a safe word. It isn’t negotiable, and if she tries to shy away from the idea, then you need to find someone else to hook up with.
The location is everything.
Don’t take her to your house. Don’t let her take you to her house, either. The safest places to actually meet up tend to be hotel restaurants or bars, because after the two of you have a drink to take the edge off, you can always waltz right up to the room that you’ve booked for the evening.
If a hotel is out of the budget, then there are a lot of different clubs that might suit your needs depending on your area. It might take some research, but you can find a good BDSM dungeon in most cases, or other swinger-related clubs that might suit your interests, depending on what kinks either of you two have.
Finalize everything before you go.
If you take the time to discuss in emails everything that you want out of the night, you’re not going to fall prey to a kinky dating site scam.
Remember: the women that want to scam you are going to immediately ask you to meet. They aren’t going to want to discuss anything with you, and they’re mostly just going to want to figure out ways to get money out of you.
Money shouldn’t be an issue.
This is a hookup, not a real, romantic date. It’s up to you how you want this sort of thing to continue, but we get it – you’re busy, you don’t have time for romance, and you just want a way to vent your kinky side without commitment. That’s us, too, and that’s why if you two go out for dinner first, going Dutch is the way to roll.
This is, of course, the sort of thing that should definitely be ironed out before the two of you actually meet up. Neither of you should show up and expect the other to pay the bill.
It should also be noted that even if you want to play the submissive role in a BDSM scene, you shouldn’t go out of your way to throw money in the direction of your Dominant. Split the check, split the hotel, and have a hassle-free night doing so. That way, there aren’t any feelings of obligation that will float around and make the rest of the night awkward.
Remember your boundaries, and you’re good to go.
This is a two-way street. Both of you want to have fun, but be safe while you’re doing it. It’s easy to get over-excited if you’re hooking up for the first time – or even for the twentieth time – but remember your ground rules and stick to them.
Always remember that it doesn’t matter how much you two feel like you trust one another: you need a safe word. Don’t start planning a date without one.